So I was sitting around complaining to some friends today. And one of them politely said, “I think I see a blog coming…” Which I now suspect was her kind way of saying "shut up and write it down".
So here is a list of things I just need to get off my chest. It’s my own personal Top 10 List of Stuff That Makes Me Crazy. And don’t accuse me of being grumpy because I guarantee you will find a few of your own in here.
Number 10 - Couples who feel the need to demonstrate their undying love for one another with caressing during the church service. It’s a house of worship. Get a room. Show some decorum. Enough said.
Number 9 - People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot. I’m sorry to be harsh but failure to put your cart away is lazy and disturbingly inconsiderate. I’m just waiting to catch someone in the act so I can berate them personally.
Number 8 - People who rush to the front of the line while boarding an airplane, knocking over children in strollers and pushing the elderly out of the way. Listen, we will all reach our destination at the same time. I promise. Chillax.
Number 7 - Here’s one that particularly gets under my skin since we’re in the middle of the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. People who spout generalizations like, “All hockey players are criminals,” or my personal favorite, “Hockey is just such a violent sport.” Really? Have you been to a soccer game lately? There’s a lot of screaming, swearing and general bad behavior. And that’s just the parents.
Number 6 - People who drive slow in the fast lane. I’m not sure which is worse, taking a 13-hour road trip to Texas behind some goober who thinks going five miles over the speed limit qualifies him for the fast lane or worrying that my husband’s head will actually spin off because he is so frustrated.
Number 5 –Young women who wear string bikinis to the pool. Look, I stalk the mail carrier every year so that I can grab the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and toss it out before my 13-year-old son can get to it. I really don’t need a reenactment at the Recreation Center. This is not the French Riviera. Please, dear girl, put more clothes on. It’s really OK to leave something to the imagination.
Number 4 – People who…well, really, I’m talking about guys here…Guys at the gym who get on the treadmill next to you and proceed to grunt, groan, sweat rivers and behave as if they are about to keel over. We’re all impressed you’re working out very hard, OK? Kudos to you for that. But I’m begging you, please use a towel and try to suffer in silence.
Number 3 – People who talk during movies. Hey, you know that ad they show asking moviegoers to please silence their cell phones and refrain from talking? THEY’RE REFERRINGTO YOU! SHUT UP.
Number 2 – Going to the eye doctor for a routine vision check and being shamed for not opting for the $200 retinal scan. Yes, I know the eyes are the window to the soul, the body, etc…And yes, I know you probably need to pay for that fancy machine. And I know it could detect a brain tumor and all that. But I just want to know if I need glasses. That’s all. And don’t make me feel like a cheap loser because I’m unwilling to shell out $500 for a pair of glasses when I could drive a couple miles over to Costco and get an equally cute pair for $79.
And my Number One Pet Peeve is folks who get into the checkout line that clearly says “15 items or less” with a cart full. People, it’s not 15 different categories of food items, OK? It is 15 separate items. And don’t act like those of us behind you aren’t counting. We are and we’re mad. And heaven help you if you get to the parking lot and fail to put your cart in the special coral. I’ve got my eye on you.
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